Long time, no post!

Well I guess It's long past time for another blog post!

These past few weeks have been a hard, but good past few weeks. I've been really doing a lot of praying and heart checking. I've also had to fight a few battles spiritually,
but God is my defender.
I can't explain the things going on. but I have been really starting to realize how wicked our hearts are.
I was talking to a fellow believer and he said that it's not wrong to discover how wicked we are, it's what we do with that after the holy spirit has convicted us that matters.
I have felt like I'm growing a lot lately, having to do more things i have not wanted to do. Like go to people and apologize even if I was not in the wrong. and if I was, then that was even harder.
I'm also learning to let go, and when I say let go I really mean let go.
I was praying recently about something I was needing to let go of, and I kept telling God "Lord, help me to let go of_______"'
Finally the Lord told me "Josiah, quit asking for help, and just let go. you keep bringing it back"
It hit home, cause when we let go. We are not suppose to keep bringing up and asking for help to let go cause we have not fully let go then.
Letting go is when the situation comes up and we don't even notice cause were resting in God.
Sometimes it's hard to let go of the pain, and it's even harder when we do but the other side does not.
But in the end God will honor that.

If anyone reads this

Wow, I know, I know. It's been awhile since I've posted.
but I've been running hard and really busy lately. I almost feel to the point of just quitting it all! Lately I've been discouraged and overwhelmed.
I don't see how God can bring me through this time of testing emotionally,physically, etc. Someday I just want to quit!
but I know my God is greater, my God is stronger.
And in the storms, in the desert place is when I really know him. my problems are huge when I look at what the Lord is NOT doing rather then at what the Lord IS doing.
I told a pastor that on Monday this past week, not surprising that the Lord would take those very words he gave me to share and test me with them. then came Tuesday, that's when it all began. I can't explain it, but I was being tested and am being tested.
I look around and see a battle brewing. I see something i don't know what moving through the ministry. and causing a ripple effect, I've never felt so far away.
I think of David and how he was surrounded by people but still felt alone.
the lord is my shepherd and I know he hears my voice, sometimes a sheep must be alone so that way he may be tested to see if he genuinely a sheep.
I never though I'd be at where I am now. but the Lord knows, and i gotta keep that focus. I'm being broken and tested, it's hard but good.
I wish I had something encouraging to say, but I just need to refocus my thoughts on Christ. Truly, he hears my call!