Long time no post

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted.
For the past few months I've been heavy under attack like never before. Been to the darkest depths. And have had the darkest thoughts. I've battled depression and pride.
Pride in who I am and in what I do.
Depression in my value and worth.
It's been a hard road of repentance and brokenness. Now I'm stuck on what it means to wash someones feet in John 13.
What it means to submit and serve despite the cost and despite the leader.
I wish I had learned this sooner in life, I wish my pride would have been broken and is being broken sooner then now.
Theres days I just want to quit, throw it all out the window.
My washing of feet is vacuuming a Sunday school room, or cleaning the bathrooms. Two roles I could care less about.
I wish I could always be doing the puppets and doing what I love but I can't always.
God wants us to wash someones feet today in some way. How can you wash someones feet?
I've been studying the book of john and I'm learning so much more about Jesus ministry now then I have before. I'm realizing he was about the people and was not above the father's will nor those he healed. In John 9-
The blind man is healed but then we see that Jesus sought him out "when he had found him" after the ministering to him. He engaged in the blind mans life. How many time do we minster then move on? When does ministry become target practice? Just another number?
Every soul is important.
Jesus humbled himself to the point of death. Can we be humbled for five min? There's so much on my heart to share. The scriptures are alive!